The Walls Come Down
by RT219
Summary: **Stellaride fanfic** Season 5 Episode 16 post ep - The fallout from the hostage situation could put a final nail in the coffin of what could have been between Stella and Severide - If you're at all interested in this couple let me know
1. Chapter 1

_After Season 5 Episode 16 Tell Her Goodbye_

They watched the ambo pull away and you could almost hear everyone let out a long sigh of relief. Severide felt Stella nudge him with her elbow and he nudged her right back. "You okay?" He turned to look at her and saw the angry red bruise on her forehead. "You took a pretty good hit to the forehead." He reached up a hand and touched her forehead along her hairline, just above the reddened skin.

Stella leaned away from him and winced. "Hey, hands off."

He laughed at her. "Hey, I saved you."

Her eyes widened just a bit in shock. "Yeah, thanks for that, by the way." She reached out and touched her hand to his cheek, her eyes following the movement of her hand, the trail of her fingertips along his jaw. "That was a rush huh?"

He looked down at her hand, watched it lower until it touched his chest. "You mean like when you clubbed that guy who was trying to choke the life out of me."

She shrugged. "Sure. Big rush." She looked back up into his eyes and then shook herself slightly as if she was waking up. "Yeah. It was."

Severide grabbed her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "And for that, I think I owe you a drink." He grinned back at her. "My treat."

Stella rolled her eyes and winced. "Maybe later."

"All right," Chief Boden's voice drew everyone's attention, "let's get back inside, we have a lot to cleaning up to do. Let's get back inside."

Holding back for a minute, Severide gave her a one last hopefully look. "You sure?"

She shook her head and then nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks."

He shrugged. "Okay, rain check?"

Otis clapped Kelly on the shoulder and they walked back into the firehouse with Stella just a few feet behind them. When she reached the door it clicked closed before she could step inside. The click sounded like the report of a gunshot and she pressed her fingertips to her temple. The world around her did a wicked shimmy and her stomach turned inside out.

"Kelly?" She had to work to make that much sound. She reached out for the door and it wasn't there where it was supposed to be. "Kelly?"

The door swam even further away and then the world went back.

**testing the waters for a little Stellaride fanfic - if you're a fan of the couple/ship let me know**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews... this will be posted in 'scenes' as it comes to me... hoping to chat with the Stellaride fans... if you're a GUEST on I can't reply to you :(**

There's a fine line between gut and intuition. Gut is what the guys like to call it. Intuition for the ladies. Or so they say.

Just as Kelly stepped into the through the doors to the kitchen, he stopped short.

They'd all been through some crazy stuff in the last few hours, but Stella, she done everything right and had a crazy amount of crap thrown at her. And he was going to make sure she took a load off. "Hey Chief?" He jogged up to the Chief's side and cleared his throat. "I think we should let Stella get some rest. She took a good hit to the head when that guy went after her. I'm not sure she should be doing any cleaning right now." He turned around, "Stella, I was- Stella?"

The Chief looked at Kelly. "Maybe she went upstairs?" He tried to sound casual about it, but Kelly could tell that there was an edge to the chief's voice. "Maybe we should go check."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Kelly walked away from the Chief, but instead of heading further inside the house he headed back to the door. It wasn't he most obvious choice, but something… something told him to push open the door.

And when he got to the door he took in a long deep breath as if he was afraid of the cold slapping him across the face when he walked outside.

The door gave way with a hard shove. And he heard the creak of the metal as it opened up.

His gaze reached out across the yard at first and then dropped down to the ground at his feet.

"Shit, Stella."

She lay still on the concrete, her limbs splayed out around her as if she was sleeping. He knew that loose-limbed athletic grace of hers from a mile away, but the way she looked, laid unconscious at his feet twisted something inside of him, breaking it open.

Dropping down to his knees beside her, he was vaguely aware of calling for help, the metallic screech of the door opening and smacking the outside wall, and the excited voices that soon surrounded them.

"Where's Gabby? Brett?"

"They left."

"Call for an ambo!"

The voices barely registered in his ears. Someone got down on the knees on the other side of Stella. Fingers touched her neck, looking for a pulse point.

Kelly want to pick her up and carry her… somewhere, but even he knew that was ridiculous.

"Severide." The voice speaking in his ear sounded like the Chief, but he shook it off.

"Kelly?" A hand settled on his arm. "Talk to me." This time it was Otis. "What happened?"

He wanted to give them a rundown of her injuries, he was going to have to do it again when the ambo arrived, but all he could do was touch the side of her face, reassured by her warmth. "Come on, Stella. This isn't funny, damn it. Open those eyes and look at me.

"I've got a six pack with your name on it. All you have to do is look up at me. Say something."

Otis shoved at his shoulder, making his turn his eyes up. "What happened? In the locker room?"  
"He pushed her into the locker door, gave her a couple of good whacks. Damn it. She said she was okay."

Otis grumbled. "She's tough. It's probably just a thing." His expression tightened for a moment. "God, I hope it's just a thing."

Kelly lifted his head and looked at the crowd around them. "Where the hell is that ambo!"

The faraway whine of the ambulance siren took the edge off of his worry, just enough to get a good breath in his lungs.

And apparently one in hers.  
Her back curved as her lips pared to gasp in a breath.

"Stella?" He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze, but she didn't squeeze back. "Come on, don't do this. Shit, don't do this, Stella. You said it wasn't anything. That sounds so stupid. You always brush things off." Come to think of it, so did he.  
"What's the situation?"

Kelly looked up at the two paramedics and managed to give them a clear and concise account of what he knew. It wasn't much, but he hoped it was enough for them to start treating Stella.

And then he felt a hand descend on his shoulder. He tried to shrug it off but the hand stayed on his shoulder, tugging him upwards. "Kelly, step aside. Let them do their work."

He heard the Chief, but he still had her hand in his. He knew he was only delaying things and he knew she needed the help. Help he couldn't give her.

"Go ahead," he got up on his feet, "help her." He moved a few steps back, enough for the paramedics to get in on both sides of her to do their examination.

Kelly felt the Chief's hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry," the rumbling tone of his voice was a familiar kind of reassurance, but there was no way that was going to happen until they told him she was okay.

"You better be okay, Stella. You better damn well be okay." He watched one of the paramedics roll over the gurney. "Chief?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to ride along."

He heard the gruff chuckle in the Chief's normal deadpan tone. "Yeah, I knew you would."


	3. Chapter 3

Kelly hopped out first and stepped aside as the paramedics lifted the gurney down to the ground and started answering the questions thrown at them from the ER staff. Kelly stood to the side and watched over the situation, or rather, he watched over Stella.

He swore if someone asked him he could have told them how many minutes and seconds it had been since he'd found her outside the firehouse. He could have, but it was useless information. All he could do right at that moment was stand back and watch… and it about killed him.

Dr. Halstead met his eyes for a moment and then focused on Stella, as it should be. He'd talk to him later, but for the moment, he needed everyone focused on Stella.

When they pushed the gurney into the ER, he was right behind him, pausing in the doorway to get the lay of the land. It was ridiculous to hope that the ER wasn't busy, that there would only be a few cases that needed the best medical personnel to handle the case.

Nearly every bay was occupied, and he couldn't help the huff of frustration at the thought.  
"Kelly!"

His gaze turned toward the left and met Dawson's eyes across the room. He looked after the group of medical personnel disappeared into an exam bay. He held up his hand to hold off her questions and jogged after them.

He got there a moment before they transferred her from the gurney to the exam bed and he held his breath as they set her down. His mind was struggling to keep up with all the medical jargon they threw back and forth. It was like listening to a handful of different operas at the same time.

"Hey, Kelly," Dawson was suddenly at his elbow, "what-"

Gesturing toward Stella he had to know. "Tell me," he spared Dawson a look, "what are they saying?"

Dawson turned her attention solely on the team working over Stella's unconscious body. A few heartbreaking moments later she turned slightly and laid her hand on Kelly's shoulder. "They've cleared the schedule in imaging. They're sending her down for an MRI. How hard was she hit?"

He shook his head. "She blew it off. Told me the guy smacked her head into the locker door."

"What the hell-"

"She threw a punch at him, trying to escape and he clocked her. How bad, I don't know."

Dawson's grim expression had a little lift to it. "I bet she cracked him a good one."

"And then he hurt her, Gabby. When I found them, he had her backed into a stall in the bathroom, a gun in his hand. I pulled him away, but he knocked me back into the shower, choking me."

Dawson grabbed a hold of his arm to comfort him and herself.

"Stella knocked him out with his own gun," he swallowed hard, "she saved my life."

"And you saved hers, Kelly." She pushed him back as the nurses pushed her out into the hall toward imaging.

He felt her give his arm a squeeze, but he couldn't look away. "And what good did I do her if she's out cold in a hospital. I thought she was going inside with the rest of us. I turned my back and she went down, Gabby."

She turned him toward her, grabbing at his chin to pull his gaze down toward her. "It's likely a head injury. Something where the adrenalin pumping through her veins didn't let her know there was something wrong before she lost consciousness."

"You're not helping, Gabby." He turned away and swore a blue streak under his breath before turning back, his eyes watering with tears. "I'm sorry. I just-"

"Hey," Matt was at their side a moment later, "was that Stella?"

Severide turned toward his friend and opened his mouth to speak, but stopped, his lips closing into a thin white line as he reached up to rub his palm over the back of his head, nodding.

"What did that guy do to her?"

Kelly looked up at Matt and shook his head. "I don't know." His mind latched onto a thought and he met Matt's eyes squarely. "You were up there. When did he get her alone?"

Maggie waved at them, catching Gabby's eye. She pointed to a couple of chairs along the wall.

Nodding, Gabby steered Matt into a chair, with Kelly following along behind her.  
"She was going to relieve the pressure in his chest-"

"The tension pneumothorax," Gabby nodded, putting some of the pieces together.

"Yeah, she had the needle out at the guy with the gun flipped. He thought she was going to hurt him."

Gabby shook her head. "She was doing the right thing."

Matt agreed. "Yeah. She was, but he had the gun and he wasn't going to let her do it. He grabbed her by the arm and walked her around the corner to he lockers." He shook his head and then looked up at Kelly. "I should have gone after her."

Kelly shook his head and Gabby spoke for both of them. "You were shot, Matt. If you'd tried to interfere," she leaned against him, "he couldn't have killed you."

Matt's eyes were lined with red. "He could have killed her too." They heard a soft sound from Kelly and turned toward him. "Severide, I'm sorry, I-"

"No," Kelly walked a few steps away, "no need. She was okay. She was hiding from him and I get him away…" his words faded off and he walked over to the nurse's station and leaned against it, trying to stay on his feet.

Maggie stepped up to speak to Kelly when Dr. Choi ran up beside her and whispered something into her ear.

When her eyes widened, and her gaze swung over toward Kelly, he had to ask, "What is it? Maggie?"

Dr. Choi was already gone, disappearing around a corner down the hall.

"Maggie?" Dawson was walking toward the desk. "You can tell us."

Maggie nodded and reached. When she took Kelly's hand he sucked in a gasp of air.

"They're taking her into Emergency surgery."


	4. Chapter 4

**hope you like the story title... sometimes it takes me a little bit to see the 'bigger picture' **

Maggie gave Kelly a concerned look. "They're taking her into Emergency surgery."

"Surgery?" Matt was on his feet and hurrying to join Kelly at the desk. "What's going on?"

"I don't know the details, but Dr. Choi said that the imaging showed them they needed to go in now."

Kelly took a few steps backward, reeling from the implications of her words. "Emergency surgery."

Dawson wrapped her arm around his waist. "They're giving her the care she needs to we can have her back."

Kelly took another step back and almost lost his balance.

Matt and Gabby were on either side of their friend, holding him up as they moved him over to the chairs along the wall.

Gabby didn't sit down, she pointed Matt into the chair. "I'm going to call the Chief, let him know what's going on."

Kelly barely managed to nod at her prompting. When Maggie walked by, he reached out and took hold of her hand. "Maggie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I see her first?"

"See her?" Her frown was slight. "I think there might be an observation window if you want to-"

His stomach twisted painfully in his gut. "Watch? No." He cleared his throat. "No, I wanted to see if I could talk to her before the surgery."

Maggie's eyes darted over his shoulder and then back into his face. "Kelly, she's already in the O.R. You can't go in there now. They've probably started the surgery."

The news shook him and he turned toward the long hallway that they wheeled her through. "Could you check? I just want to tell her…" he took a few steps away, wiping his palms down the long sides of his pant. "I need to tell her something before she goes under."

"Kelly?" Matt was again at his side. "Kelly, listen to me."

He turned around and looked at his friend. "There's still time."

Matt didn't shake his head, he wouldn't dare. "She was already unconscious, right? If she was, it's better to make sure they get things rolling, you can talk to her after." Smiling a little, he nodded his head. "You can talk to her all you want in recovery."

Maggie grinned. "Just remember she'll probably kick you out if you're too loud."

"No," Kelly paced a few steps toward the hall and stopped. "She wouldn't. She sat beside me when I-" He started down the hall and it took Matt stepping in front of him to stop him from searching for her.

"Hey, you need to calm down, Severide, before you stroke out. Then you'll be no good for anyone after."

"All I want to do is talk to Stella." He stepped to Matt and leaned closer. "You understand. If that was Dawson in that OR?"

Matt started to lift his right hand and stopped with a wince, changing hands to touch Kelly's shoulder. "You'd be the one trying to talk me out of it, Severide. You'd be the one telling me to let the doctors do their thing and bring her back to us."

"No." Kelly shook his head. "I'd be the one sneaking you into OR to talk to her and tell her… tell her what you've got going on inside. I'd help you get in to see her, Casey." He took a few steps away and then turned back pointing a finger in Casey's face. "You know I would."

He swung around on his heel and saw Maggie standing just a few feet away. "Well?"

Maggie shook her head. "They're already in surgery, Kelly. I'll show you to the waiting room.

Pain lanced through his head and he lifted a hand to push the heel of his palm against the pain. "I know the way."

He was almost to the waiting room when the rest of the crew showed up. Hermann and the Chief were the first ones to get to Kelly's side. "What's the news?"

Kelly opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out. That left Matt to fill in the crew as Kelly paced away to find a piece of the wall that needed someone to hold it up. He was only partially listening when Otis stepped up beside him with Capp and Cruz a step away. "This all happened when she was trying to help that kid, right?"

Kelly nodded. "The gang member with the bullet in his chest."

Otis shook his head and looked at Kelly, even though he wasn't able to meet the eyes of the other crew members. "When I got there, after they," he swallowed, "Dawson walked me through the insertion of the catheter on the phone. I don't know why that guy with the gun was so angry with Stella. All she was going to do was exactly what she should do."

"Didn't they want her helping?"

Matt heard Capp's question and answered. "When she was trying to explain the gunman took one look at that needle and accused her of trying to kill his friend."

The whole group fell into a strange tremulous silence. Stella had been hurt for doing her job. She'd been hurt because she was trying to heal.

"Ungrateful little sh-"

"Hermann," the Chief's warning was clear to everyone. "Let's not waste our energy angry at the people who did this. Right now, one of our own is in surgery and if you have enough energy to curse the gang members, use that energy to pray for Stella."

 _Pray for Stella._

The words echoed in Kelly's head.

 _Pray for Stella._

Collapsing into a chair near the wall, Kelly leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He could do that. He could focus all the anger and frustration inside of him and send it to her.

He didn't look up when someone sat beside him. He didn't even have to ask who it was when he felt a gentle hand on his back and soft fall of hair on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Kelly," Gabby rubbed her hand on his back in a circle. "She'll pull through this. No one is as tough as Stella Kidd."

"Not even me," he mumbled into his hands. "Not without her."


	5. Chapter 5

By the time the surgeon stepped into the waiting room, everyone on Stella's shift at the House and a few others that heard about her injuries had gathered to wait for news. Kelly was the first one up on his feet.

Looking at the file in his hands, the surgeon read off the print out, "Is there a Kelly Severide here?"

Stepping away from the group, Kelly nodded. "That's me."

The doctor looked up at him, noticing the CFD insignia on his shirt. "Oh, you work together?" He waited for a moment and then continued on. "I thought," he gestured at the file, "that maybe you were the boyfriend."

 _The boyfriend._

What the-

"Why? Did something happen to Stella?"

The doctor looked him square in the eye. "Everything went about as well as we could expect. Whatever kind of hit she took, … Well, it took it's toll. We were able to stop the bleed, and we believe it'll just be a matter of time before she comes around."

"So we can go in and see her?" Dawson and Brett were suddenly beside him, their expressions hopeful even though their eyes were rimmed with red.

The doctor looked a little hesitant at the sudden crush of people surrounding him. "She's in ICU for now. And we can only really admit family."

"She's our family," Hermann folded his arms and his expression dared the doctor to argue.

The surgeon certainly wasn't enjoying being the center of everyone's attention. "Sure, I'm sure you all feel that way, but right now we have to keep the number of visitors down. She's not even conscious."

"Yet," Kelly felt the word bite from his lips. "She's not conscious **yet**."

"So you," The surgeon looked at Kelly. "You can go in."

Kelly nodded and moved to follow the doctor, but Otis shrugged. "Why Kelly first?" Otis backed off a bit when Cruz turned on him, glaring. "What? I was curious."

The surgeon reached up his free hand and scratched at his temple. "According to her file, Stella Kidd has designated her Emergency Contact and Medical Power of Attorney as Kelly Severide." Looking up at the man before him, the Doctor shrugged. "That's you."

"Yeah," Kelly nodded, "that's me."

#

The duty nurse was just finishing up with something when he walked in. She smoothed down the sheet covering Stella's body and gave him a smile. "She's stable."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"If you need anything," she explained, "the call button-"

Kelly didn't answer her, he just moved over toward the bed and stopped a foot away to just look at her.

He'd seen her sleep more than few times. Not just at the house. They'd all taken turns when they could catch some Zzz during a long shift.

But that wasn't all of it for him.

He'd been to her apartment, a lot. Slept over quite a bit. Woken up beside her. Kissed her awake. Held her in his-

He stopped short and wiped at the tears in his eyes with the back of his hand. "Stella, come on."

She didn't move. It didn't even look like she was breathing from where he stood.

Taking a chairback in his hand he pulled it over beside the bed and sat down. He fixed his gaze on her face, looking for signs of consciousness. Her lips were parted gently, and her expression was relaxed as if she was just getting some rest.

And that's what he had to hold on to. The idea that she was resting.

A blip on one of the machines lifted his eyes to the readouts. And he sat there looking from screen to screen, having no idea what each one meant, really. But he wanted to know.

Lowering his gaze, he finally saw the pristine white of a bandage wrapped around her head. It blended straight into the pillow and the sheets on the bed. All of that white against her skin made her normal coloring even more pronounced. IT wasn't what he wanted to see, not at all.

He'd half talked himself into the idea that he'd walk into the room and she'd be playing possum like he'd done one morning, waiting until she was worrying about him before he'd turned and tickled her, making her laugh.

It would have been nice if that was the case, but Stella was so still in the bed. Still and bandaged and he hoped to God she wasn't in pain.

If she was, he was going to find that gang member and return the favor.

"Hey now," he heard her saying into his ear, "that's not the point of all of this."

No. He knew it wasn't, but it didn't stop him from wanting to strangle the guy responsible for this.

Kelly leaned forward and dropped his head down, his chin almost touching his chest. "Come on, Stella," he hoped out loud, "time to wake up."

"She's likely to be under for awhile."

Kelly looked up at the sound of the Dawson's voice. "Hey."

"Hey," she returned the greeting back. "I snuck a look at her chart. You'd be surprised how much pull Maggie has."

He shook his head. "I'm surrounded by take-charge women. I'd be surprised if you didn't get the chart and give it a once over."

Nodding, she stepped inside the room and he saw Matt hovering outside. It made sense. Wherever Dawson was, so was Casey.

"Surgery was nearly perfect. They found the bleed and fixed it. Now we just wait for the swelling to go down and for her to wake up."

Kelly nodded and looked at Stella sleeping in the bed less than two feet away.

He saw Dawson turn and look at Casey and then back at him.

"You could go home," she suggested, "get a shower, change of clothes. It's going to be awhile. I'll stay with her."

He turned away, couldn't continue to look into her eyes. Shaking his head, he shifted on the chair, set his elbow down on the arm. "I'm not going anywhere."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Kelly, I-" Matt was in the room, his eyes darting down the hall, worried about who might see the three of them in the room against orders. "I think you should listen to Gabby. When she wakes up, that's when you can be here for her."

Kelly looked back at him, shaking his head. "When I went in for the marrow donation, she drove me in, waited for me through the procedure and she was there, when I opened my eyes, offering me a donut." Kelly's eyes closed, and he remembered what she looked like, when he'd come around from the procedure.

 _She'd looked up from her crossword puzzle and her eyes had widened when she saw that he was awake. She'd smiled and laughed softly, telling him, "lucky you woke up when you did, they were starting to take dibs on your locker."_

 _She'd made waking up something to celebrate, even with the pain throbbing in his hip, because she was there, waiting for him._

"I'm here until she doesn't need me anymore."

He looked up and saw Dawson and Casey exchanging looks. "Hey, if you want to tell folks to come in, I'll step out and they can visit one at a time." He shook his head. "On second thought, I'll go out and tell them."

Casey smiled a little. "That Emergency Contact thing going to your head, Severide?"

Kelly almost managed a smile. "I take my responsibilities seriously."

#

Sometime after midnight, Kelly shifted on the waiting room couch and blinked a little into the dimmed hospital lights. Staring back at him across the room was Dr. Charles. Kelly tried to speak and then had to clear his throat first. "Hey."

Doctor Charles smiled and him and got up from the chair he was sitting in and took a glance at the clock. "Good Morning, Lieutenant."

"Sure. Good Morning," he looked up at the clock and pushed himself up until he was sitting on one end of the couch. Kelly gave a start and started to stand. "Is it Stella?"

Doctor Charles held out his hand to ease Kelly back on the couch. "As far as I know, Stella is resting peacefully."

Kelly nodded slowly as the information sank into his head. "Good." He blew out a breath. "Good." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "You prowling around the hall looking for someone to analyze, Doc?"

"Nope," Doc Charles sat back and looked around the room, "just thought I'd stop by and check in on you since you seem to have become attached to our furniture."

Kelly's smile barely turned up the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, well," he scratched at the back of his neck, "there's no sense in going back to my apartment, it's just me."

"You know," Dr. Charles sat back and set elbow on the arm of the chair, "that's a reasonable argument."

Kelly tried to hide the surprised raise of his eyebrows. "Okay."

Dr. Charles nodded. "And it's not like we don't have the room here for a few friends of Chicago Med, especially our friends at CFD."

Shaking his head, Kelly sat back and looked at the doctor. "Why don't you make your point, Doctor."

"We have the ability to call you if something comes up."

Kelly nodded slowly. "And I know that. I just don't want to be so far away that if she needs me…"

Doctor Charles nodded and managed to look like a wizened old owl. "And a phone call-"

"It's easier for me to assess the situation if I'm here."

Again, the doctor nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were medically trained."

Kelly looked away and a muscle in his jaw ticked. "I'm… I'm not, really."

"Hmm."

"Yeah," the conversation died down there and the two men stared off into the dimly lit room.

"Kelly?"

Severide looked up toward the sound and stood. "Anna, hey."

He was only partially cognizant of the doctor excusing himself and disappearing down the hall.

When Anna stepped closer, Kelly met her halfway and gave her a hug. She rose up for a kiss and pressed it against his cheek when he turned toward an opening door down the hall.

He stepped back a moment later and gave her a welcoming smile. "Hey, I didn't know you were on duty tonight."

She shrugged. "I wasn't scheduled, but one of the nurses called in. Her whole family is sick and-"

"She didn't want to share. That's good."

Anna grinned back at him. "We can't afford to have everyone down with the flu." She squinted at him, taking in his clothes. "Why are you here? Did you need to see a doctor?"

He gestured down the hall. "Doctor Charles already paid me a couch call." He laughed a little and then sobered quickly. "We had some injuries today at work, some gang members took most of the House hostage and-"

Anna grabbed at his shirt, looking him over from head to toe. "Were you hurt?"

"Hey," he eased her hands away, shaking his head, "Not me. I was in the main room for most of the time." He drew in a breath and released it. "Stella's in ICU. She was helping one of their injured and one of the gang members," he swallowed and stretched his neck, trying to loosen up the knot in his throat, "one of the gang members knocked her out." He blinked back tears and continued. "By the time I found a way to get upstairs, she was up and trying to hide."

"Kelly," he heard the concern in Anna's voice.

"I pulled him away but he got me on my back, tried to choke me."

She reached up her hands to check his neck and held up his hands to ward her off.

"I'm okay. He barely had time to do anything before Stella clocked him with his own gun."

That got a wide-eyed look of surprise from the nurse. "Wow. She sounds like some kind of action hero."

Kelly's smile was instantaneous, and he nodded while his shoulders shook with silent laughter. "She knows how to handle herself."

"Then why-"

"After the police cleared out, taking the gang members with them, we were headed back inside when Stella dropped to the ground, unconscious." He felt something squeeze tight in his chest as if he was there again. Thrown back in time a few hours before, finding her unresponsive on the ground.

"Look," he shook his head and took a step back down the hall, "I'm sorry, but I should go and check on her."

"Oh, yeah," she nodded and gave him a little wave, "I'll see you later."

"Sure, later."

He headed back toward ICU. He knew they probably wouldn't let him back into the room this late at night, but he just had to get a look in through the window and make sure she was okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Kelly woke up with a start. Sitting up on the couch, the next moment he was on his feet. Listening for the call over the PA system. Truck 81. Squad 3. Ambo 61. – but there wasn't a call.

It took a moment for him to realize he wasn't at the House. He was at the Hospital. In the waiting room. In near dark with the hospital silent around him.

He let out a breath and waiting for his heart to slow.

The alarm in his dream was still blaring in his head. Rescue, Ambo… the alarm had been so real his heart was still pumping like crazy at the sound.

"No rest for the wicked, I guess."

Already up on his feet, Kelly turned to look at the clock on the wall. It was still way too f*cking early for visiting hours. He took out his phone and dropped a message to Dawson & Casy:

Still here. No news. Wondering if that's good news.

He sent the message and dropped his phone back in his pocket.

Coffee. He needed coffee.

"Excuse me," he stopped a passing nurse, "what time does the cafeteria open up?"

"Not for about an hour. Sorry." She looked at his clothes and smiled. "You're the one here waiting for Stella?"

He nodded. "I didn't want to leave, not until…"

She waved off his excuse. "Go into the break room down the hall. We have a pot going. You're welcome to have some, we all think it's really sweet. That you're waiting here with her."

He smiled. "Thanks, I could use a cup."

She rolled her eyes. "Nurses understand the habit. Trust me." She pointed down the hall. "Go ahead, by the time you get your cup you should be just in time peek in on morning rounds and see how she's doing."

"Thanks," he let out a long breath, "that would be-"

An alarm sounded down the hall. Kelly and the nurse froze for a moment listening to the words in the call. Kelly only understood one things about the call. The room number.

Stella.

"Shit."

He took off running with the nurse at his heels.

Kelly didn't make it into the room at all. Just as he reached the door, two doctors shoved past him and bookended the bed, calling out instructions and observations to the nurses that swarmed around them. There were a few things that Kelly could get out of the rapid fire shorthand at the medical personnel were saying.

Stella had a fever, but there was something else. Edema.

A quick text to Dawson got back an answer.

Swelling.

The air pushed out of his lungs and he leaned against the outside wall of the room. "No. Not now. Not like this."

His instinct was to wade into the room and do… something. If it was a fire. A building collapse. He'd fix it. Find a way to get her out. Car accident? Handled.  
But not this.

He had no control over this.

And damn if that did hit him like a sledgehammer.

It was likely only a few minutes, but it felt like forever until the doctor came out of the room and narrowed a look at him. "You Severide?"

Kelly nodded.  
The doctor shook his head and let out a loud huff of a sigh. "Look…"

"Just say it." Kelly couldn't handle the wait. "Did something go wrong with the surgery?"

"The surgery was successful, but that's just a part of the whole picture. Stella spiked a fever. That's what set off the alarm."

"But you can just give her meds for that."

"Sure, sure…" the doctor nodded, 'but we're also seeing signs of swelling in her brain. That's the tricky part." He set a hand on Kelly's shoulder. "It could be the fever, but there are other things that could cause it. We're going to figure this out, Severide, but it might get worse before it gets better."

The doctor looked away for a moment and then straight back into Kelly's eyes.

"Look, it's not like we're going to need to know right now, but there may be a time you'll have to make some decisions for her. So I want you to put that in the back of your head and let it sit for a bit.

"Right now I have the nurses giving her meds in her IV for the fever. If it and the swelling go down we'll be done with the whole thing."

"But if it doesn't?"

The doctor nodded. "Then you and I have some decisions to make on treatment options."

Kelly managed to nod, just like he'd managed to swallow down brussels sprouts as a kid, with a whole lot of effort. "Can I see her?"

The doctor held up his hands in surrender. "I'm not going to stand in your way."

Shouldering past the doctor, Kelly entered the room.

The same nurse he'd been talking to in the waiting room was standing at Stella's bedside.

"You okay?"

Kelly turned to see that she was talking to him. "Me? Sure. Just a little… shaken."

She smiled and removed the syringe from the IV collar. "Well, you can be shaken later," she smiled at him. "Right now, you need to be solid… for her." She turned and nodded at Stella. "All that noise we just had in here, can't be all that easy for her. So maybe you can sit here for a while and calm her down."

Kelly couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. "I don't think there's much that scares Stella. She's a rock."

The nurse studied his face for a minute and then she backed up a step. "Even mountains fall down."

She was gone a moment later, leaving Kelly to keep company with Stella and the bank of monitors that made their own version of heavy metal elevator muzak. What he needed was a drink. A whole f*cking six pack of something.

But what he ended up doing was pulling up a chair and having a seat. He looked around the room and sighed before reached out and setting his hand on the bed beside hers. "Hey, Stella," he waited, just in case she wanted to say something back, "I was thinking I'd find one of those crossword puzzles, but I don't see any. So, just wondering if you have anything you wanted to talk about."

He watched her carefully for a moment just to make sure she was still there, with him.

"No? Well," he sighed, and wrapped his hand around hers and gave it a squeeze, "then you're just going to have deal with me talking until I can find us a game to watch on the tv."

Silence answered him.

"Then you're stuck with me."


	8. Chapter 8

Someone shook Kelly awake and he blinked up to see Dawson looking down at him. "What time is it?"

She didn't even look at her watch. "You need to get some rest, Kelly."

He gestured at the bed where he'd just been laying his head and stole a glance at Stella before he faced his friend. "I was sleeping when you woke me up." He saw her uniform and stretched. "Does Boden need me to come in today?"

Dawson shook her head. "No, Connie called in some floaters to cover. The Chief said he's going to stop in on his lunch."

Kelly finished his yawn and nodded. "He's going to want an update." He reached out and took Stella's hand in his. He didn't let go when he turned back to Dawson. "You can probably tell me more than I can tell you?"

Nodding, she looked at the screens above Stella's bed and then picked up the chart beside the door.

He noticed the little grimace that pulled her lips tight. "What is it?" A muscle ticked in her jaw and Kelly gripped Stella's hand a little tighter.  
"She should have come around by now. How hard did that guy hit her?"

"From what she told me while we were trying to get down to everyone else was that the guy made her open her locker, found a photo of some people stuck into the door and threatened her with the lives of her friends," he met her eyes and knew that she saw the underlying truth. The photo in Stella's locker showed her with Dawson and Brett. "She got in a hit, and then he grabbed the back of her head and slammed her against the next locker a few times. How many, she doesn't remember."

"And then she was walking around? She didn't go straight to the ER?"

"She probably didn't think she needed to, but I should have known better," he told Dawson. "I should have put her in the car and driven her down here myself. I should have-"

Dawson held out the chart and worked in under his nose so he had to look at it, or her. "Hindsight is 20/20, Kelly. You had no way of knowing-"

"No way?" He fought to lower his voice. "She had her head smacked into the lockers and she passed out! She lost consciousness and I didn't take it seriously. With Casey on his way to the hospital, I should have kept a better eye on her. I shouldn't have let her brush it off. I should have-"

"Hey," Dawson grabbed his shoulder and pinched her fingers in, "you can't do this to yourself. We were all running on empty and adrenaline. If you asked Stella she'd tell you-"

"And she can't, can she?" Kelly sagged back against his chair and felt the aching muscles of his back scream in protest. "She can't tell me a damn thing because she's recovering from surgery…. to release pressure in her brain, Gabby."

He felt her hand rub across his shoulders once and then a few more times. "Look, why don't you go home, get a shower, close your eyes for a few minutes and I'll stay with her."

"I should stay. If she wakes up while-"

"Oh, hey, sorry to bother."

Kelly looked up to see Anna standing in the doorway, her hands holding onto the frame.

"I didn't think you had a visitor."

"Gabby and Stella are friends."

"Oh, yeah," Anna smiled and leaned a little more against the door frame, "I think Kelly mentioned that before." She turned to look at Kelly again. "Maybe this is perfect timing. I was just coming in to see if I could pry him away from this room and maybe go get some fresh air."

"Gabby was just trying to get me to go home for a bit, but I'd rather stay."

Dawson opened her mouth to speak but Anna beat her to it. "You don't have to go home. There's a food truck outside and the benches outside are all pretty free at the moment. You need to stretch your legs before we end up admitting you."

Kelly looked at Dawson and saw the tight set of her lips.

But before he could decline the offer, Dawson's phone got a text and she looked down at the screen. "I can stay for a little while before I need to get to the House. Go ahead. Take a walk."

Kelly stood and slowly untangled his fingers from Stella's. He gave her a long searching look before he turned away from the bed and walked out into the hall with Anna at his side.


	9. Chapter 9

Kelly looked at the paper wrapped burger in his hands and listened to Anna talking about… about something. He turned his head to look at her and saw her frowning at him.

"Hey, if you don't want the burger, I can get you something else."

"No. it's okay." He moved the paper-wrapped sandwich around in his hands. "I guess I'm just not hungry."

Anna set her sandwich down on the bench beside her and turned slightly to look at him. "What's going on, Kelly?"

He felt like the words hit him and then penetrated his thoughts, twisting him up inside. "What do you mean?"

"You're all wrapped up in this."

He listened to her words and his eyes narrowed at her. "Stella's my friend."

"It's more than that."

He felt a pain pinch between his brows and squeezed his eyes shut. "She's a good friend."

"If it was Casey, would you be sitting by his bedside day in and day out?"

"If it was Casey, it would be Dawson sitting at his side, she loves him."

The set of Anna's face changed, her jaw tightened, her eyes narrowed right back at him. "When I was in the hospital and you came to visit me," she huffed out a breath, "you always talked to me about Stella. Stella this and Stella that. You know I thought it was cute at the time."

"She's my friend, Anna."

"She's your friend, but I think maybe you're closer to her than you think."

Kelly set the sandwich down on the bench between them. "Look, I don't think you understand-"

"I'm a smart woman, Kelly."

"I never said you weren't, Anna. You're a nurse and you're-"

"Not a fireman, an EMT trained fireman… or woman, whatever you call it. And she rescues people from burning buildings. Just how am I supposed to compete with that?"

He reached for her hand but she moved her hand away from and into her lap. "You're not competing with Stella, Anna. You and I-"

"Right now I'm not so sure that there is a you and I, Kelly. You don't know what it's like to walk past her room and see you there, holding her hand. It's a little too familiar, you know? I mean, that's how you and I started, right?"

Anna got up and let out a long sigh, blinking her eyes as she looked down at him. "Is that what's happening, Kelly? Are you falling for Stella?"

Kelly opened his mouth to speak and whatever it was that was in his head got stuck in his throat.

And that was a last straw for her. She stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself. "I know you think this is simple, Kelly. You think you're just watching out for a friend. But you have to ask yourself. Would you do this for any of the guys you work with? Would you do this for Otis or Cruz? If not, then you have to ask yourself what's different with Stella." She closed her eyes and then stepped back again. "And until then," she gave him a smile, "I think you and I need to take a step back."

He stood and took a step forward but stopped when she shook her head. "Anna, please."

"No, not now. I need you to think about what I said, okay?"

Kelly took another step closer. "I'm not falling for her, Anna. I'm not."

She closed her eyes and tightened her arms around herself. "Kelly, stop. You need to think about this. If you want her, then you need to be honest about it. I'm not someone you should be with for the wrong reasons. I don't want that."

"Anna-"

"I'm going to leave now, and maybe you should too. Some time away from the hospital. It could give you some perspective. They'll call you if she wakes up."

Anna was gone a moment later, leaving Kelly standing beside an empty bench. Empty accept for his sandwich, which he wasn't going to eat anymore. He just wasn't hungry.

#

Chief Boden arrived late in the afternoon and after conferring with Kelly, he took a turn at Stella's bedside while he sent Kelly for coffee and a couple pieces of pie from the cafeteria in the Hospital. It didn't take him long to make the trip there and back. He happened to see Dawson and Brett as they grabbed some coffee before heading back out on the street.

By the time he got back to the room, he saw the Chief sitting in silent contemplation.

"Chief? I brought your coffee and pie. Not sure if you like cherry or apple. I got both."

He set the tray down on the rolling table and moved it to sit next to the Chief. With a quick pinch of his hand, he lowered the table down to the Chief's elbow.

"Thanks, Severide."

Kelly divided up the napkins and forks and stepped up to the bed to take another look at all the machines not that it told him something. The only thing that made any sense to him was the temperature readout. One hundred and three degrees. It had gone down a little but if it went back up, the doctor was going to be back in here.

"Kelly?"

He felt something touch his arm and looked over at the Chief. "Sorry, Chief."

"You getting enough sleep?" He only waited a second for an answer. "If not, I'm sure I can find a nurse willing to sedate you."

Kelly smiled a little. "I'm sure Gabby or Brett would do it just for kicks."

The Chief returned his smile. "Most likely."

"I'm sleeping, enough. I'm just worried that she's been sleeping too much."

They both looked at Stella sleeping in the bed.

"Yes, well… sometimes things look better after a good long rest."

"Well, her 'good long rest' is going to give me an ulcer."

The Chief chuckled a little and reached for the plate with apple pie on it. "Then I get to have both pieces?"

Kelly sat down and pulled the apple pie plate toward him. "No, sir, I'm saving this one for Stella."

"Smooth move, Severide… smooth move."


	10. Chapter 10

*note* Hey all! Lovely to see people making this story a favorite... If I could ask a favor.. I'd love to see some comments... it's kind of like crickets in the reviews... if anything just tell me your favorite Stellaride moments.. Thanks

Chapter Ten

In the middle of the night, Kelly found himself trapped in a nightmare, but it felt all too real.

Stella had been separated from the other firefighters with Truck 81, closed off behind a wall of smoldering rubble with the fire burning hot all around her.

He was tearing at the wall before him, desperately trying to put a hole in it. Nothing worked. Saw. Sledgehammer. Everything fell apart in his hands until all he had left were his hands.

Just when he thought he'd found a way to make a hole. There was only enough room for him to fit his hand through the rubble, but not his glove.

Stripping it from his hand he reached through, calling Stella's name, hoping that she was still there on the other end.

'Damnit, Stella… Take my hand!"

He felt something move behind the wall, sensed it in a movement of air, and then he felt something brush up against his hand. Pushing his arm through the rubble he grabbed on and gasped in pain. Her hand, her very skin was on fire.

BEEP BEEP BEEP….

He turned his head away from the screaming alarm in his ear, but he wasn't going to let go of her hand.

BEEP BEEP…

Someone grabbed his shoulder and pulled, slipping her hand from his.

He came awake a moment before his back his the wall of the hospital room.

Nurses swarmed in as Dr. Halstead leaned over the bed. Kelly looked at the screens and his eyes fell onto a readout he understood. One hundred and six point four degrees.

He knew enough to keep his mouth shut and listen. IV. Medicine. Dangerous temperature. More comments about medicine, procedures and in the midst of it. Stella lay perfectly still, as if she was somewhere else instead of inside of her own body. And as a nurse drew a new vial of her blood, he found himself hoping that Stella was somewhere else.

Stella Kidd was a force of nature. She smiled big, laughed big, and when she did something, she was all in.

And when she was with him, he swallowed hard, trying to push out the memories of her wrapped in his arms, her voice in his ear. His knees buckled until the only thing holding him up was the wall at his back.

When the nurses rolled Stella onto her side Will picked up an empty syringe from a tray.

"What… what are you doing?"

Gritting his teeth together, Will walked his fingers over her spine and a few moments later he wiggled the point of his finger over a spot. "Spinal tap. Maybe her spinal fluid can tell us something." With a nod to the nurses to hold her steady, he inserted the needle into Stella's back and drew out a sample.

The temperature gauge made a soft blip and the number on the readout fell to one hundred and six point two.

Will handed the syringe to one of the nurses with instructions to head to the lab.

Kelly stepped up to meet him, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "What's happening."

Blowing out a breath, Will made some kind of helpless gesture in the air. "Fever is one thing. But anything over One-oh-five? That's a danger zone."

Kelly looked over Will's shoulder. "She still over one hundred and six."

Will nodded, his expression frozen in concern. "Anything over five is dangerous. Any higher and we could be looking at brain damage."

The words washed over him and even the breath he managed to drag into his lungs didn't do much to alleviate the ache in his chest. "I have," he took in another breath when the edges of his vision turned gray, "I have her power of attorney, what do I need to sign?"

Will's brow pinched between his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Whatever you need to do, whatever treatment you need to try. You just give me the paper. I'll sign it."

Wincing a little, Matt's hands lifted up to the middle of his chest. "Kelly, it's not that simple."

"Yes," Kelly moved closer, ducking his head to stare straight into Matt's eyes. "Do something. Do it now. You bring her back. You make this okay."

"Kelly-"

"Hey, what's happening?"

Will couldn't help the relief written plainly on his features, but when Gabby took hold of Kelly's arm and turned him around, Will latched onto the lifeline and explained the situation to Gabby.

She wrapped an arm around Kelly's waist and leaned into him.

Will left the room and left Kelly and Gabby standing in silence.

#

Matt took Kelly back to his apartment. It wasn't a voluntary thing, at least not for Kelly. He wanted to stay, but Gabby pushed them both out of the room with a look on her face that promised bloodshed if they didn't do what she said. And so they went.

The ride there was silent, the walk to the door was even worse with the sounds of two pairs of feet walking down the long hall to Kelly's front door.

It took him a few minutes to shower and throw on some clothes before he went back into his bedroom. Casey was leaning against the wall, ever so patiently standing in the aching silence of the room. Wordlessly, Kelly picked up some clothes and a few items and made a bag to take back with him.

"You want to tell me what's going on?"

Kelly spared him a glance. "I'm doing what needs to be done."

"You're a good friend, Kelly." Narrowing his eyes, Matt tried to find the answer in Kelly's stoic gaze. "I want to be the same to you, but I'm not sure what's going on."

Kelly dropped something into the duffle and turned to look at Matt. "What going on is your wife forced me to come and get a shower and some clothes. Now, I'm going back to be with Stella."

"Look, I know you and Stella are friends-"

"Good friends," Kelly added.

"Yeah, of course," taken aback by the power in his words, Matt decided to tread carefully, "good friends. You two have been through a lot before. But if this is some kind of guilt or you're thinking about what happened between you before… don't. Don't go there. You're with Anna now and Stella knows that."

"You don't know everything that happened. When everything was happening with Grant, I drew a line in the sand. Stella was trying to tell me what was going on but I wasn't ready to hear about it. What we had… what I thought we had? I told her we weren't even together."

Matt leaned his head back against the wall, listening carefully.

"When Gabby moved in with you, Stella offered to let me stay at her place. I told her I didn't do monogamy."

Matt couldn't help but wince at that comment.

"I shut the door in her face so many times and she was always there for me." Kelly picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Now she needs me, and I'm going to be there for her, because she's done the same for me."

He looked up at Matt as he walked up beside him.

"Can you take me back now?"

Matt reached out a hand and put it on Kelly's shoulder. "I'd take you anywhere you want to go."

Kelly nodded, the hard line of his lips loosening slightly. "I want to be with Stella."


	11. Chapter 11

ELEVEN

Gabby sat beside her friend and looked at her nails. "You know what I think?"

Stella didn't answer back.

"I think when you're out of here, we're doing a girls spa day." She smiled and shook her head. "Girl, your nails look horrible and we can't have people thinking that the ladies of 51 don't take care of themselves."

Turning Stella's hand in hers, Gabby held it between her hands for just a moment. The temperature read out was still high, a bit over a hundred and five, but it had been going down steadily. "I know the problem," she told her friend, "you were sitting next to Kelly and that fifty shades of red weren't doing you a bit of good."

"You know it's true." She looked back up at Stella's face. "Don't argue with me. You can say it over and over again, but you're not just hung up on Kelly, you're in love with him. And given the mess he's been since you ended up in here, he is too." She waited for a few moments and then let her gaze drift over the readouts. "Not that he's said anything, because Kelly Severide can be one stoic… you know what."

Gabby heard footsteps coming down the hall and she turned to look, but it was one of the nurses passing by.

Turning back to Stella she stood up and walked to the side of the bed by Stella's head. She smiled down at her friend. "How about I make you a deal." Thinking it over, Gabby let out a long breath. "Here's the thing. I'm ready to do some serious matchmaking, ok? Think of all the double dates we could go on… think of all the jealous women out there when we take out men out on the town? So you wake up, 'cause you being quiet is kind of unnerving, and then when you're up and around I intend on shoving you and Kelly into a closet until you guys get it together.

"Everyone at the house know you two are crazy for each other. And really," she sighed, "I've got money on the pool and almost a week before I lose. So help your girl out, okay?"

"Gabby-"

She squeezed Stella's arm and turned around to look. Matt and Kelly were standing in the doorway, Kelly had a duffle over his shoulder. "Moving in?"

Kelly looked down at the bag and met her eyes with a rueful smile. "It'll save me having to ask someone to go get me stuff from home."

He moved past her and dropped the bag in an unused corner of the room. "Any changes?"

"Her temperature is down. The new antibiotics are doing their job, but you guys came back when we were in the middle of planning a girl's day."

Kelly and Casey shared a look. "You were planning something with Stella?"

Gabby looked at her husband. "You and Kelly go out and smoke, Stella and I need something to do while you're out."

"Okay?"

She gave Kelly a look. "Don't worry. I'm not talking about strippers or anything like that, maybe a hot masseuse? It'll be my gift when she gets out of here."

Casey looked back at his wife. "We should probably go home, Gabby."

She looked from one man to the other. "You think I'm crazy, but I'm telling you, there will be facemasks. There will be wine. There will be a hot guy or two to do Stella's bidding. She's going to love it."

Matt shook his head. "We are not having this at the apartment, I don't think Kelly would-"

"We're not having it at our apartment, babe."

Breathing out a sigh of relief. Matt smiled at Kelly.

"We're doing it at Kelly's apartment. You've got more room." She grinned. "You two can go to a game and leave us to our fun."

At the stunned look on Kelly's face, Gabby moved to his side and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Everything will work out, just believe."

Once they left, Kelly was alone with Stella again, shaking his head. "Well that was fun."

He looked at Stella hoping for some kind of reaction. Nothing.

"Good idea. Some peace and quiet."

* * *

Peace and quiet only lasted a few minutes into the new shift. A soft knock at the door. Kelly turned in his chair and met Anna's concerned gaze. "Hey."

"Hi." She leaned her head on the doorframe. "I thought I'd find you here."

He nodded. "Stella's doing better. Temperature is down-"

"That's good." She smiled. "You still look tired."

Kelly rubbed his hand over his face. "Yeah, but this will all be over soon. Stella's going to wake up and things are going to go back to normal."

"Normal," she didn't sound very interested in that.

"Yeah," he smiled, "once we get her out of danger and home. Back to the House." He shrugged. "Then everything will be okay."

He watched her think through his words or maybe her own. "I'm not so sure."

Getting up from his chair, Kelly met her in the doorway and walked past her into the hall. She followed behind him until he stopped, still within eyesight of the room. Then he turned to look at her. "What's going on?"

She met his eyes and then looked away, taking a big breath before she looked up at him again. "When we… got together… it was," she grinned and her face was transformed, "a fairy tale. I was dying and you," she tilted her head to the side to grin up at him, "you rode in like a knight in a shining armor and saved my life. And you had this amazing way of lifting my spirits. All of our talks and," she blushed, "other things… were so amazing. And that's why I wanted to give this a chance."

"Anna," he reached out and set his hand on her shoulder, "this is just a matter of timing. When you were in the hospital and I was waiting for the donation procedure-"

"When you had the concussion-"

"Yeah," he smiled, "Stella waited for me. Got things that I need or just things she'd thought that I'd want. She was there for me while I was trying to be there for you."

"So you're just returning the favor."

Kelly took a breath and nodded. "She's my friend and she was there for me."

The look she gave him made something pinch between his shoulder blades.

"I don't think that's it, but," she gave him a rueful smile, "but I think that's what you believe."

He narrowed his eyes at her, struggling to understand. "What are you saying?"

She bit into the corner of her lip and looked up at him with a funny lop-sided smile. "I'm saying that what we have is just that. It's a fairy tale. And it's a great one. Wishful thinking, a romance with a hero and a damsel in distress."

"Anna, come on-"

"Kelly, stop. When are you just going to admit it?"

He sighed and pressed his fingertips to his temple. "Admit what, Anna?"

She grabbed his wrist and lowered it so she could meet his eyes without anything between them. "Admit that you're in love with Stella."


	12. Chapter 12

_**thanks to the reviewers... here's the next part as a thank you**_

 _TWELVE_

 _"Anna, come on-"_

 _"Kelly, stop. When are you just going to admit it?"_

 _He sighed and pressed his fingertips to his temple. "Admit what, Anna?"_

 _She grabbed his wrist and lowered it so she could meet his eyes without anything between them. "Admit that you're in love with Stella."_

"Kelly," she pushed away from the wall and touched her hand to his arm. "When I was in the hospital, waiting for the transplant, we connected-"

"Of course we did, and I-"

"And do you know who you talked about… almost the whole time?"

He shrugged and cocked his head to the side with a smile. "You? You and me? I don't-"

She lifted her chin, her gaze on the door behind him. "Stella." She shook her head. "Stella did this. Stella did that. Stella and I ran into this burning building. Stella… Stella. And the whole time, you had this smile on your face-"

"Anna, what-" He had this feeling in the pit of his stomach. Behind her smile, there was a distance that he could almost reach out and touch. "What are you saying?" While he waited for her to speak, his eyes drifted back toward Stella's room.

"That," a small huff of laughter reached his ears, "is what I'm talking about."

"Anna, I-"

She held up her hand to stop him. "Don't, Kelly. Please."

He blew out a frustrated breath. "I don't understand."

"And that," she grinned, "is why I know you didn't fall for me, not really."

"Anna, stop-"

"No, Kelly, you need to think about this, about you and Stella."

"Anna, come on-"

"You know," she swallowed hard and he saw her eyes water with tears, "I don't think she knows it either, not really. When she came to see me after the transplant. I asked her if you… if you and she were together."

He shrugged. "And she said…"

"She said no, of course."

"Of course," he laughed, "because we weren't and we're not."  
She just shook her head at him. "And just how many times have you told yourself that and stared down the truth because you just don't see what's in front of you."

Her hand touched the side of his face and he reached up to hold it but she pulled away.

"Anna, I-"

"Don't think about this, Kelly. I'm sure you've talked yourself out of the truth for a long time now, but the look on her face when she told me you weren't together was a far sight from friend. She wants you to be happy, so much so, that she's willing to stand on the sidelines and watch you walk away."

He felt the color drain from his face.

"The question is, are you going to give her a reason to reach out… and hold on?"

The world tilted under his feet and he opened his mouth to say something. Anna stopped him, touching her finger to his lips.

"Don't, Kelly. You're going to tell me that I'm wrong. You're going to tell me what I want to hear, because honestly, you're trying to believe it too. You and me, we would have been a fairy tale, but the problem was there before we even started.

"Because I think you've been trying to ignore what she means to you. Somehow, somewhere, you decided that you didn't want to mess things up by going for what you really wanted, but how are you going to deny that if Stella died-"

Kelly gasped out a breath. His chest hurt like he was being crushed under a building. And his knees, they'd gone weak and were near to collapsing beneath him.

"That you'd never forgive yourself for letting her go without telling her… without letting her know… how much you love her."

If Anna was waiting for him to say anything, she wasn't going to get it.

Kelly tried to take a step and fell back against the wall.

His eyes closed as he slid down to the floor and laid his head back until he heard the dull thud of contact.

When he opened his eyes again, Anna was gone.

Later, when Kelly walked back into Stella's room, he stood in the doorway, watching as the nurse finished taking Stella's vitals and then leaned forward to smooth her hair. The bandage around Stella's head had been changed, leaving just a square adhered with thin strips of tape.

The nurse turned her head and smiled at him. "She's doing better."

He looked up at the screen and saw one hundred and three point two.

"It's gone down a lot since we started the new antibiotic. The doctor will be in soon on his rounds to check. Maybe you could go and get something to eat?"

He shook his head. "No thanks."

She nodded. "I get it. Well, just remember if you make yourself sick you won't be any good to her when she wakes up."

He wanted to argue with the nurse, but a fat lot of good it would do, so he just nodded and she left a moment later.

Kelly took his place by the bed, but instead of sitting down on the chair he stood beside her.

He couldn't help doing the same thing he'd done hundreds… no, more like thousands of times when he saw Stella. He'd just look at her. Her hair, that wild mass of curls she managed to tame into a simple ponytail. Her perfect skin, every single feature of her face just made her more beautiful, but it was the strength that he knew was behind it that made him stare at her in wonder.

She'd been through a lot. Suffered even more. And still, she'd taken her dream and made it happen.

And she was more than a good firefighter. She was awesome. It wasn't even worth mentioning that she was a woman firefighter. When she stood shoulder to shoulder with the others on Truck, she was 'a' firefighter.

Still, there was no denying she was a woman.

A woman he respected.

A woman he cared deeply about.

A woman that he-

"Stella?" He reached out and took her hand. It was warm when he threaded their fingers together, the fever still holding onto her. He brought their joined hands up to his middle and held it gently against him. "How much longer are you doing to sleep, Stella? The guys are going to start calling you lazy if you don't get up. They're going to make this a thing, you know?

"They're going to rib you about this forever and trust me, you don't want to give them something to hold onto like that."

She lay still in the bed and blew out a breath.

"You know, every once in a while, when he can't think of anything else to do to annoy me Herrmann will just stand there looking at me for a moment. Waiting until I ask him what he's thinking about. He'll shake his head and laugh. 'With a rose in your teeth, eh?'"

Kelly shut his eyes and willed the sudden onslaught of tears to fade away, but they didn't and he was forced to wipe them off with the back of his free hand.

"If that's what you want, Stella. I'll do it." He gave her a smile he knew she couldn't see. "I'll rappel off the roof of the House with a rose in my teeth and I'll even managed to sing whatever that Sinatra song was that you mentioned. I would do it.

"You know I would. Because if I do you'll know that I didn't just want you back then. I still want you now."

He leaned over the bed, whispering his words beside her temple, almost directly into her ear.

"I'll do whatever you want me to, Stella, as long as you're out of this damn bed."

He waited for an answer, and finally sat back down in his chair beside the bed. It was well past midnight when he fell asleep.

He was dreaming.

Not one of his usual nightmares since the hostage crisis at the House. No.

No one was bleeding. No one was shot.

But it was too close to reality for him. So close that it his heart ache. He wanted it to be real so badly.

He was in the hospital, his head laid across his folded arms on the side of Stella's bed. He was sleeping but slowly waking up. Someone was touching his arm. Someone was smoothing his hair near his temple, fingertips trailing over the side of his face, brushing against the scratch of his stubble.

He felt the tenderness of the gesture and he tensed, stilling the fingers on his skin.

No.

No, he didn't want her to stop.

It was a dream yes, but he wanted it to continue. Even if it was going to rip out his heart when he woke up and found it was a lie.

For just a few moments, he wanted to pretend that it was real.

"Kelly?"

He felt her hand on his cheek, and he covered it with his own. "Don't move," he told her. "Don't let go."

He heard the sweet sound of a slow intake of breath. "I won't," he heard her sigh, "because I don't want to. I'm just waiting for you to remember."

"Remember what?" He felt his eyes start to open and struggled against it.

"That you love, Anna."

Kelly's eyes flew open and he saw Stella looking at him. "Stella?"

She nodded and struggled to smile. "Yeah?"

"You're awake?"

Her smile faltered a little. "Seems like."

Relief flooded through him as he pulled away to push the call button on the wall.

When the doctor and nurses reached the room, he let them push him back from the bed. Nothing was more important that making sure she was going to be all right.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

Sometimes good news was a pain in the ass.

Once he put in the call to the Chief that Stella was awake and talking it started a flood of visitors. Everyone came by to see her and they all stayed, even Capp who brought her a couple of magazines from the hospital gift shop and then proceeded to point out every article in the motorcycle magazine until Stella fell back asleep.

And that's when Kelly plopped into the chair beside her bed and told the man to leave.

Capp only shrugged, gave his Lieutenant a lopsided grin and sauntered off down the hallway.

Once the room was empty, Kelly looked around the space and grimaced at all the flowers and even the stuffed animal that Annabelle Herrmann had sent with her dad.

He started to shake his head and then blew out a long frustrated breath.

He felt a touch on his arm and turned his head. Stella was half awake staring at him in concern.

"What's wrong?"

He swallowed hard and shook his head again. "Nothing. Nothing. Are you okay?"

She nodded, blinking over and over as she looked at him. "Fine. Just tired."

He turned on the chair and looked closely at her expression. "Any pain?"

He saw something in her eyes but after a moment she shook her head. "No. No. I'm just… tired. You-"

"Hey," he smiled at her, "don't worry about me, go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up. Okay?"

She drew in a long breath and finally met his eyes.

He tensed up in his chair, unable to understand the look in her eyes and he thought he knew them all.

"It's okay, Kelly," she swallowed again and he saw the red rims around her eyes, "I'm okay. Really."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You don't sound okay, and-"

"But I am, okay? I'm fine."

Kelly heard the hard edge in her voice and got up from the chair, turning to sit down beside her on the bed.

"Stella, come on, tell me what's wrong." He reached for her hand and she pulled it away. "Stella?"

"I need-"

She stopped short and he watched her closely, worried that she wasn't feeling well, worried that he should push the call button.

"I need you to go."

He could only stare at her. He felt like he'd been hit with the side of a building. "What... what are you talking about?"

"You don't have to keep me company. The doctor said he's not worried about my recovery. It was really nice of you… I was really nice of you to stay, but you've got a life and a job." She moved a little in the bed and barely winced. "What has Squad been doing since you've been here with me? You can't leave those guys to some temp just stepping in. You need to go back to work. You need to go home, Kelly."

He took hold of the hand she was waving around and held it carefully in his. He looked down at their hands resting on his thigh. "I'm fine right where I am."

He was sure he'd gotten through to her, he felt the tension bleed away from her arm, heard the slow intact of breath. Just when he started to relax, she pulled her arm away, folded her hands together and stared straight at them.

"I need you to go, Kelly."

He tilted his head to the side, trying to meet her eyes.

She refused to look at him.

"Stella, come on. What's wrong?"

"Me. You." She shook her head, still staring at he hands. "Having you here. You need to go."

When he didn't move she finally turned her head and met his confused gaze. "Please."

As he watched, her breaths shortened, her eyes filled with tears and then one of the monitors started to beep.

Better at reading the screens now, he saw it was her heartrate.

"Stella?" He slid off the bed and reached for her only to have her pull away. "Stella, what-"

The monitor continued to beep, louder this time. And that's when the nurse showed up. "Hey, Stella. What's going on?" She smiled as she approached the bed and Stella darted a glance at him.

"I told him to go." She looked up at the nurse. "He won't go." Her shoulders rose and fell and her face paled. "He won't go."

"Sir," the nurse leveled a hard look at him, "you'll have to leave."

"Stella," he reached out for her, "I just want-"

"Go, Kelly! Please…"

He barely remembered to grab up his bag as he backed out of the room, his eyes on Stella as she leaned into the nurse, her eyes watering with tears.

He stepped out of the room and to the side where she couldn't see him and listened as Stella Kidd, the bravest woman he knew, start to cry.

It hit him straight in the heart, nearly doubled him over in the hallway, breathless. "What the hell did I do?"

Footfalls in the hall barely registered to him, but he recognized the short strides of Dr. Charles as he walked past him and into Stella's room.

Kelly straightened and turned, inching closer to the door.

"Hello, Stella. Do you remember me?"

"Dr. Charles," she managed to gasp out the words, "I know…"

"Can you tell me what's going on? Are you in pain?"

Kelly turned on his heels and walked away. He couldn't listen in. No matter how much he wanted to know what he'd done. He didn't want to find out like this. She deserved her privacy.

He'd find a way to fix this. Find a way to apologize for whatever he'd done. He just couldn't listen into her conversation.

It wasn't until he'd gotten out to the parking lot that he remembered he didn't have his car. "Shit." Pulling out his phone, he was reminded what day it was, what time it was. Time seemed to stand nearly still when you couldn't see the sky. Sweeping through he contacts, he made a call. "Hey, can you pick me up?"

#

When the car pulled up he stepped off of the curb and reached for the handle. The window rolled down before he even had the door open. "You better have good news for me."

He blew out a frustrated breath. "It depends on what you consider 'good'."

Stepping around to the back door he opened it and tossed his bag in the backseat before getting into the front. "Hey."

Gabby stared back at him. "You look horrible."

He smiled back at her. "Thanks."

"You can thank me later." She shook her head and put the car into gear. "But right now we're going to go back to your place and you're going to tell me what the hell is going on."

She pulled out onto the street.

"That's the thing," he told her. "I don't know what's going on."

He saw her roll her eyes in the rearview mirror. "That's the problem with guys, Kelly. They never do."

She turned down another street. "So we're going to sit and order pizza because I'm sure you have nothing in your refrigerator that's safe after the last few days, and then I'm going to help you pull your head out of your ass and figure this thing out."

He stared at the side of her face with more than a little shock in his eyes. "Don't hold back for my benefit or anything."

"You know I love you like a brother, Kelly, and that's the thing. Tonio is just as good at messing things up as you are."

They cruised down the street and Kelly looked out the window at the passing scenery. "Well, all I know is that Stella threw me out of her room." He shook his head and felt a lump lodge in his throat. "She was crying."

Gabby sighed. "Shit." She bit into her lip for a moment and then when she released it she nodded. "I love Stella, she's my girl. And this thing that you two have going on… it's been weird for a long time."

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well, first," she told him, "we're going to at least get a start on this today and then I'm going to go see Stella tonight." She sighed as she turned down the next street. "And we're going to see if we can't fix this mess."


	14. Chapter 14

"Stell?"

It was dark in the room with only the backglow of the lights behind the bed. Still she didn't want to move back to the door just yet. "Stella? Hey…"

Blinking her eyes, Stella shifted in the bed opening her eyes on a quick gasp. "Who-"

"It's just me, Gabby."

Stella visibly relaxed and sagged back against the bed. "Hey,… hey, what's up?"

"I just came to see you."

Squeezing her eyes closed, Stella's rubbed at them with the back of her hand. "Okay, but is there a reason why it's in the middle of the night?"

"Well, I wanted to check up on you."

Stella narrowed her eyes and looked at Gabby's face. "Oh."

Now it was Gabby's turn to narrow a look at Stella. "What 'Oh' is that?"

Shifting on the bed, Stella grabbed the control and lifted up the head of the bed until she could look straight into Gabby's eyes. "I thought something was wrong." She swallowed. "Something at the House?"

"Well, I did just leave Kelly as his apartment. It seems you kicked his ass out of this room."

Stella didn't do much more than nod her head.

"And why did you do that?"

Her eyes drifted closed and Gabby was almost convinced that she'd just fallen asleep again.

"Because he needed to go before I messed everything up, again."

Gabby felt her heart ache for the pain in Stella's voice and leaned forward to touch Stella's arm. The gentle brush of her fingers almost had Stella in tears.

"Please, Gabby. Don't say anything to him. Not about this."

"Hey," Gabby leaned closer and gave her arm a gentle squeeze, "this is just you and me, Stella. That's all. You know I love Kelly like a brother, but you're just as close to me. And no matter what, I want both of you to be happy."

A shadow passed over Stella's features. "And I want him to be happy, Gabby. That's why I made him leave. He wasn't listening to me. He didn't understand."

"Well," a wry smile tugged at the corner of Gabby's mouth, "he can be a little thick-headed."

Stella rolled her eyes and then winced. "So can I, and I can out-stubborn him, so this is just how it's going to have to be."

Gabby nodded. She'd heard that tone. It was the same gritty determination that made Stella Kidd one hell of a firefighter. When you heard that tone you knew to stay out of her way and let her get shit done.

But Gabby had a feeling there was more to this. And at least she could be Stella's sounding board.

* * *

"Look, I won't lie." Gabby gave her a big smile. "Kelly called me to pick him up from the hospital and I took him back to his apartment to lick his wounds. He was completely clueless and to a certain extent, so am I." She smiled, encouraging Stella to relax and open up. "You guys are good together."

Tension pinched Stella's shoulder blades closer together. "We're friends."

Again. Her tone brooked no argument.

"Kelly is with Anna, Gabby. They're in love. They're happy." Stella drew in a long breath as if she needed to steady herself before going on. "And I'm not a whore, Gabby."

"Whoa," Gabby reared back and shook her head, "I never said that-"

"Grant called me a whore, he said I was nothing."

"He wasn't in his right mind, Stella."

"I know that." Stella turned her head away. "But it's been there in the back of my head since then. And I can't shake it."

"Stella, that has nothing to do with Kelly."

At the sound of his name Stella cringed and curled into herself. "It has everything to do with Kelly." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and bit down hard enough to leave a pale line in her flesh. "And Anna."

That last word rocked Gabby back a few inches.

"I told him, Gabby. I told him that I'm rooting for them. And I am," she blurted out, "I really am." She blew out a breath as her heart rate ratcheted up a notch. "You should have seen him in the hospital. He was so good with her. He was so patient and he made her smile. SHE made him smile."

"And he's a part of her. Think about that, Gabby. He's literally a part of her, how would I… how could anyone get in the middle of that."

"You're not-"

"This is how it started with them," Stella swallowed hard and gasped in a breath, "he was at her bedside, helping take care of her. You know… it makes people close… really close."

"Stella-"

"And then he was taking care of me. All that time. The nurses said he was here almost all the time. He was at my side, Gabby. He barely slept. He barely ate."

Gabby smiled, thinking that Stella was finally figuring things out.

"I'm not going to be the homewrecker."

"Whoa, where did that come from."

"I saw it in his eyes, Gabby. The way he looked at me. He held my hand. He's feeling guilty, that's all it is… but if I don't put some space between us. If I don't step back, I don't want to come between them, not when he's finally…" her eyes drifted closed and Gabby watched her body drain of energy, "he's finally happy."

"Stella," Gabby reached out and touched her shoulder, "I talked to him and that's not… I mean… you don't understand what he's trying to tell you."

"I understand plenty," she told her friend, "I understand that he worried over me and I basically sucked up several days of his life waiting for me not to die. How is that any different? How am I not to think that I've probably messed up any kind of friendship that I have with him. All because I lost my temper with that gangbanger and got stupid.

"So now," Gabby could see the determined set of her jaw, "so now I'm going to do what I should have a long time ago. Leave Kelly alone to live his life."

"And just how is that going to work, Stella?" Gabby reached for Stella's hand and Stella pulled it away. "You both work in the same House. Even if you changed shift, you'd still see him from time to time, shouldn't you just talk to him and see-"

"I'm leaving Chicago. As soon as the doctor okays me for travel, I'm leaving the city."


	15. Chapter 15

**I know all the Stellaride fans are EAGERLY awaiting Thursday's Two Hour Ep... if you've got thoughts to share on this story/chapter/anything stellaride, please leave a review**

FIFTEEN

 _"So now," Gabby could see the determined set of her jaw, "so now I'm going to do what I should have a long time ago. Leave Kelly alone to live his life."_

 _"And just how is that going to work, Stella?" Gabby reached for Stella's hand and Stella pulled it away. "You both work in the same House. Even if you changed shift, you'd still see him from time to time, shouldn't you just talk to him and see-"_

 _"I'm leaving Chicago. As soon as the doctor okays me for travel, I'm leaving the city."_

* * *

Gabby pulled back like she'd been slapped. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Stella seemed to deflate, sagging back against her pillows with a wince. "I can't afford to take a furlough and even if I get another assignment around the City, I'd still have to change apartments. It's better to get a fresh start, right? A new adventure to go with the hole in my head."

Gabby heard the overly bright tone of Stella's voice, saw the strain tightening the muscles in her face. "I need distance, too. I need to not remember what it was like."

"What?" Gabby couldn't let it go. "The hostage situation? Cause I know you're too strong for that to send you running."

"No," Stella agreed, "it wasn't that."

Gabby's expression softened, her voice lowered and gentled. "Then what is it?" She smoothed her hand down Stella's arm and felt her friend tense up at the gesture.

"I woke up," she drew in a shuddering breath, "And he was there, with me, close enough to touch." Stella's eyes turned inward, her thoughts drawing all of her attention. "I haven't been able to touch him like that…"

Stella shook it off and turned back to Gabby. "The problem isn't Severide, Gabby," Stella sucked in a short gasping breath, "it's me. It's all me."

"Stella, come on, it's not that bad, he'll understand."

There wasn't any relief in Stella's eyes, just pain. "Why would he? He's going to think I lied to him."

Gabby's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I told him I was rooting for him and Anna… and I was… I AM." She made a helpless gesture. "He deserves to be happy without me confusing things for them."  
"Stella-"

"Gabby, please. I'm doing the right thing for all of us. Kelly, Anna, …me. Just let me do this for him, okay? Let me be the friend I told him I would be. And let this go. He'll realize soon enough that this was just… a thing. Heightened emotions and all of that stuff." She turned slightly on the bed, giving Gabby her back. "I've got some medical leave saved up, so I'll take that time to figure out what I'm going to do next."  
"Stella, I-"

"I'm not going to tell you not to tell Severide. I know you're going to, but if you could… tell him to just let it go. It'll be easier on all of us and it won't hurt Anna." Stella pulled the thin blanket up to her chin and held it close. "And I'll be able to look myself in the mirror. Okay?"

Gabby waited for a few moments, she knew she couldn't push, but maybe Stella would change her mind and continue to talk.

She could tell her about what Kelly had said to her but it seemed wrong at the moment. Stella already said that Kelly's feelings were just because he'd felt guilty, but how would she convince Stella of that?

"Hey, Stell? I'm going to go and let you get your rest." Silence was her only answer. "But I want you to promise me something. Promise me you won't leave town before talking to me about it. Okay?"

There was a long pause in the room and then Gabby heard Stella's muffled voice. "Fine."

* * *

Kelly walked into the House and managed to smile as everyone welcomed him back. The usual rounds of questions pushed at him over and over. "How's Stella? When are she coming back?" And he gave them all bullshit answers. He didn't want to tell everyone that he'd royally messed things up and had no way of fixing it.

Gabby had sent him a message, telling him she'd talk him when she got back. Until then he was trying to keep his usual expression plastered on his face. He didn't didn't feel the smiled he offered to people. He barely felt his heart moving in his chest.

He just couldn't stay home. And he certainly couldn't go to Med.

He just had make himself useful or go stir-crazy.

* * *

With all the rest she got while avoiding nearly everyone, Stella got herself checked out and released from Med in no time. By the time she walked out to the curb to catch a cab, she saw a familiar car pull up to the curb before her.

Narrowing her eyes she stepped closer and bent down to look into the passenger window. "Cruz?"

He gave her a smile and rolled down the window. "Want me come around and open up the door for you?"

Stella arched an eyebrow at him and gave him a look. "Want me to break your arm?"

"Ooohhhkay." He gave her a grin. "Well, go ahead, get in. I'll drop you off."

She hesitated for a moment. "You don't have to be somewhere?"

He smiled wider. "I'm doing a favor for a friend. Get in, Kidd."

She hesitated again. "I can take a cab-"

"Stella!" Cruz stared back at her. "Get in the car!"

"Wow, geez, fine." She took hold of the handle and pulled the door open with a little grunt. She tossed her bag in the backseat and slid into the car. Once she was settled in the seat, closed the door and reached for the seatbelt. "Hey, Cruz. Thanks for stopping. Where were you headed?"

He paused and then answered her. "Med called said you were being released so I volunteered to head over and grab you up before you could get stuck with a big cab fare."

"Oh?" She was genuinely surprised. "Thanks, Cruz. Sorry I gave you a hard time."

He chuckled. "Well, you're just you, Kidd. We won't have it any other way."

"Be nice," she warned him with a chuckle, "there's nothing wrong with my hands."

He stared out over the wheel and put his foot lightly on the gas, pulling them into traffic. "You're lookin' good, Kidd."

She lifted her hand to the small bandage that was still on her forehead and let out a breath. "You should see the other guy."

Cruz laughed. "Well, we haven't seen him, but we heard that things are moving along on their case and should be going to trial soon. You gonna be up for testifying."

Her shoulders sagged a little. "The case. Yeah. I didn't think about that."

"How could you not?" Cruz shook his head as they turned onto another street. "What that jerk did landed you in the hospital!" Slapping the heel of his hand onto the steering wheel he shook his head. "Casey was shot. The office staff was terrified. You should have seen Kelly, wow."

"What happened to Kelly?" Stella felt a shudder roll through her body because of Cruz's comment. "What?"

Cruz leaned away from her, giving her a cautious side-eye look. "What?"

"What happened to Kelly?"

"Oh," Cruz's surprise was genuine. "I was just talking about that day. He was crazed, Kidd." Cruz shook his head and laughed. "Not that any of us would say a thing to him about it. He jumped into the back of the ambo to go with you and the chief didn't even say a thing. I guess he figured out what the rest of us already know."

Kidd turned to look at him. "What's that?"

Cruz looked at her and shook his head. "That Kelly'd do anything for you."


	16. Chapter 16

Wow.. since the 2 hour show... I've had a lot of follows for this story... I hope you'll read with me and let me know what you think of Stellaride both here and on the show!

SIXTEEN

 _"…He jumped into the back of the ambo to go with you and the chief didn't even say a thing. I guess he figured out what the rest of us already know."_

 _Kidd turned to look at him. "What's that?"_

 _Cruz looked at her and shook his head. "That Kelly'd do anything for you."_

* * *

The words were like water at the edge of the lake, it barely grazed the tips of her toes, not because it didn't touch her, but because she couldn't get pulled under while she stood her ground.

"Kelly's a good man," she told Cruz. "A good lieutenant. A good firefighter. He'd help anyone."

She saw Cruz shake his head. "He's stubborn… just like you."

A smile barely touched her lips. "He would have done the same for any of us. Kelly's like that. We're all… important to him."

"Who are you?"

The car pulled over to the side of the road and Cruz threw it into park before turning to look at Stella head on.

"What happened to you?"

She swallowed before turning to look back at him. "I got a good look at what I'm doing to him, Cruz." A low breath caught in her lungs. "And I didn't like what I saw."

"Stella-"

"You know what they say about the Florence Nightingale syndrome? If it was just him and me, I'd be crazy happy. Damn, I'd be over the moon, but it's not just Kelly and me. There's Anna in the picture. He saved her life and he fell for her… and they're happy! She moved here, got a job, so they could be together."

"And now," Cruz ventured, "maybe he's realizing-"

"Or maybe he feels responsible for me… and let that get carried away… I was under for awhile… he went through the worry and the stress while I slept through it all. And somewhere in those days, he started to feel something.

"But I don't think it'll last, Cruz.

"How do you-"

"Now that I'm out of the hospital and his life is back to normal, he'll see that Anna's it for him. And that's the right thing, Cruz. I'm not going to mess that up for him."

"Why would that mess it up? If he's saying-"

"I fell for him, Cruz. I fell hard. All through that crap with Grant, Kelly stood by me… and I thought," she swallowed, "I thought he felt the same… and then he told me we weren't… and I backed off. I wanted to be somewhere around him if I couldn't be with him." She held up her hand to keep from talking. "I know that's pitiful, but it was true. And I got comfortable being his friend. I could put off everything else if I could still be his friend."

She gasped in a breath and barely managed to push it out again.

"But what if I believed him, Cruz. What if I saw that look in his eyes and believed that it was real… for us. And then," she met Cruz's eyes for a moment and saw the depth of his concern for her before she darted her gaze away, "and then he realized that what we had between us was just… guilt and responsibility and that he'd lost Anna because of a mistake."

Her whole body ached as she sagged back against the seat.

"If I saw that in his eyes, no. I won't do that, Cruz."

She shifted in her seat, looking out the passenger side window.

"Can you take me home, please?"

She heard his frustrated sigh and felt a single tear slip over her cheek and down to her chin as the car pulled back out onto the road.

"I'll take you home, Stella, but you should talk to him. Give him a chance to-"

"Cruz," her voice was higher and she felt the strain in her throat as her head really started to throb, "please."

"Fine. Fine…"

* * *

Stella almost didn't answer the door when she heard someone knocking on it. She sat at the kitchen island with her head down staring into a lukewarm bowl of soup.

"Stella Kidd, open this damn door before I have Casey kick it in!"

"Shit." Stella dragged herself off of the stool and trudged to the door, opening it with a quick flick of the bolt and then a twist of the knob.

Standing in her hallway was Gabby Dawson all by herself.

Stella narrowed her eyes at her friend. "I though you said Casey-"

"Yeah," Gabby shrugged, "but you know me, I wouldn't need him to kick in the door. I'd do it my own damn self."

Stella smiled at the thought. "Then you'd pay for it, so remember that."

Gabby reached out her arms and pulled Stella in a for hug before Stella could pull back. "And you better remember that when I believe something, I'm not going to let it go."

Stella struggled a bit in Gabby's embrace and then managed to step back when her friend let go. "I'm not really good company right now so-"

Gabby pushed past her into the apartment. "Then it's a good thing that I don't care. So come on, shut the door and lets have some pastries." She shook the paper bag she had in her hand and moved into the kitchen. Leaning over she took a sniff of the soup Stella had on the counter and turned to her friend with a grimace. "You ate that stuff?"

Stella shrugged. "I warmed it up about a half hour ago. I don't think I took more than a few bites before…"

Gabby grinned at her. "Before you started thinking about him."

Stella's shoulders set in a solid line, tension pinching between her shoulder blades. "No."

She'd put every ounce of conviction behind that one word and even she knew that she'd failed miserably.

"Look, Gabby, I love you… you know that. But if you want to talk about… if you want to talk about Severide, don't. I've shut that door, for good this time."

"Okay?" The look on Gabby's face called her a liar but because she didn't say it outright, Stella was totally happy to ignore it, mainly because her own voice was shouting it loud and clear in her head.  
"So, tell me," Stella offered, trying to find a safe middle ground, "what's happening at Molly's?"

* * *

Matt walked into Boden's office and shut the door when the Chief asked him to.

It took a moment for Boden to speak as he seemed to be weighing his options, but rather than try to rush him, Matt just stood there waiting.

"I just received an odd request for a service record."

Matt's brow furrowed. "For….?"

Chief Bowden reached over to the desk and picked up the paper on the top of his pile. He handed it to Matt and watched as the Captain read over the request, his expression darkening more and more with each line. When he was done, Matt looked over the top edge of the paper and sighed. "Stella's transferring… out of state?"


	17. Chapter 17

Matt was sitting in his office when Gabby came knocking. He took one look at her and stood up from his desk, enveloping her in his embrace as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Hey, you…"

"Hey," she sighed and melted a little closer to him, "how are things going with you?"

"I can tell by the sound of your voice that something's wrong." He stepped back toward the bed and sat down, bringing her to sit beside him. "What happened?"

Gabby hesitated, and he braced a little, preparing to hear whatever it was. "I had a talk with Severide."

That got his interest. "About?"

She leaned back a little and gave him a look that spoke volumes.

So Matt ventured a guess, hoping to ease the incredulous look on her face. With a gaze over at his desk he shook his head. "Stella?"

Gabby's face eased into a smile. "How did you know?"

"Good guess?"

The look on her face said she didn't believe it. "The two of them are acting like idiots," she began, and explained what she had pieced together from Kelly's gruff comments and Stella's evasive half-answers. "So Stella's trying to be the noble one and step back so she won't cause problems between Kelly and Anna, but… Stella doesn't know that Kelly's already gone through that." She sighed and Matt tightened his arm around her shoulders. "Stella doesn't know that Anna and Kelly are all but finished and really, it's thanks to Anna. She's the one that realized what was going on between Stella and Kelly… before Kelly had it figured out."

"So Kelly and Anna… aren't together anymore?"

She gave him a half-shrug. "From what Kelly said, yeah. Anna knew that his heart wasn't hers."

The words hit Matt like a freight train. "I had no idea that Kidd and Severide were that close. Friends, yes, but-"

Gabby's look shut him up quickly. "You do know that they were sleeping together before that thing with Grant at Molly's, right?"

Matt's eyes widened. "They were sleeping together?"

Gabby's laugh was almost her normal joyous laugh as she gave him a playful elbow to the gut. "How did you 'not' know? They were hot and heavy for awhile until Grant went after her with the knife. After that… well, something happened but I couldn't get Stella to give me a straight answer."

"And you didn't tell me?"

She looked up at him and set her hand on his chest. "You really wanted me to tell you about them hooking up?"

He held up a hand to ward off the recitation. "No, thanks… I just can't believe I didn't notice it."

She gave him a grimace. "Me too. It was fairly obvious to me, and Brett."

"Well you two are wo-"

Gabby's intense glare made him rethink the words.

"Well you two are very observant."

"Better," she told him, "but the problem now is getting Stella to stop thinking about doing what it takes to make him happy and actually just make him happy by being with him."

"And that's your problem because-"

"It is my problem because I love them both. Kelly is your best friend, Matt… and trust me, you do NOT want to have him missing her and trying to work. And it's your problem because you want me to be happy and that's the end of it." She gave him a satisfied nod.

"You mean," he sighed, "that it's the beginning." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her nose. "Now, don't hate me, but there might just be a timer on this situation that you don't know about."

That got her attention. "Spill."

His grimace was followed by a solid shake of his head. "I can't."

Wow. The look on her face was downright pissed.

"Yes," she told him, "you can, and you will."

He blew out a breath. "It's a personnel issue, so I can't tell you."

She saw him looking over at the desk and before he could grab a hold of her she got up and darted out of his reach. Shuffling through the pages on his desk she caught sight of one that had Stella's name on it. Gabby read through the paper and Matt saw her face blanche.

"When were you going to tell me about this?"  
Matt bit his lip. "I wasn't." He quickly rephrased his words. "I couldn't, Gabby. It's private information about someone under my command."

"Someone who doesn't want to be part of your command anymore. Did you-"

She looked at the paperwork one more time.

"You didn't sign it." She looked back up at him. "Chief Boden hasn't signed it yet."

Matt nodded. "He agreed that someone should talk to Stella first, make sure this is what she really wants."

Gabby sighed and shook her head. "She's so twisted around inside, I doubt she really knows what she wants."

"The trick is to get her to think about it and then give Severide a chance to talk to her about how he feels. Give the two of them a chance to take it out."

"Even if we have to chain them both down to chairs, we need to find a way to help them figure this out."

Matt walked over to the door to his office and looked outside. Hermann and Mouch were leaning against the wall talking. It was Hermann that saw Matt first and narrowed his gaze at the Captain.

"The two of you, come in here."

Hermann nudged Mouch and the two headed over.

#

Kelly stepped inside of Chicago Med and looked around. It didn't take long for him to see Anna walking down the hallway. When she approached him she didn't have her usual smile on her face. And neither did he. "Hey."

"It's good to see you, Kelly."

"I was hoping you would have some time to talk."

Looking at the watch on her wrist, she looked up at him and nodded. "I have a break I can take," she nodded toward one of the exit doors, "let's go outside."

He knew she wasn't going to give him long when she didn't even ask to get her coat. So he started to take his jacket off and stopped when she spoke.

"I'll be okay for just a minute."

"Anna, I just wanted to say-"

"Let me summarize what you're about to say," she was still smiling so he was hoping this wasn't going to hurt too much, "you're sorry. And that's all you really need to say Kelly. You forget, I was the one who saw it first… who felt it.

"And I don't even want you to feel bad about it. You wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you, but I think we did it for the wrong reasons. I was just so excited to live and you… you gave me that gift. And wow.. you were so amazing… and alive… and I wanted to feel that way with you… and I did-"

Kelly opened his mouth to speak but she rolled right over him.

"For a while, but Kelly, can you look at me right now and say that when you're in the middle of a fire, feeling the heat on your face, knowing that at any moment you could be blocked in and never make it out… whose face would be your first thought? Would you see me in your head? Or do you see Stella?"

Well that took his breath away. The question she'd posed to him made everything even more clear than it had been before.

"I wanted it to be you, Anna. I'm so thankful that you survived. I wouldn't change a thing. I was where I wanted to be. I helped you because I wanted to and I would do it over… anytime. I just… it's just that I… that how I feel about Stella is-"

She covered his mouth with her hand, a smile in her eyes and on her lips. "Save it, Kelly. Tell 'her' the words, okay? Just know that I'm okay with everything." She lowered her hand and gave him one last kiss on his cheek. "You are quite the catch, Kelly Severide… but I think you need to do some work now."

He sighed and felt twice as weary as he had before. "She's not listening to me… no, she's not even letting me talk to her to get her to listen."

Anna's smile turned into a broad grin. "You don't even know why, do you?"

"Do I look like it?"

Anna clapped her hand on his shoulder. "You are so glad I'm a good friend and not an angry ex, because I'm about to set you straight."

They turned and walked back toward the doorway.

"Think about it Kelly. All that time you were sitting there at her bedside all those hours thinking and mulling over what she meant to you… and what you were going to do about it… Stella's head was on pause.

"She woke up thinking she was right there at 51, just outside the door. She'd just been kicked around and thrown into a locker. She'd just saved your neck… twice… and then she went to sleep."

"So she still thinks you and I-"

"Stella probably thinks she's coming between us and as much as I'd love to hate her for making you love her… I just can't. There's something about Stella… isn't there?"

She didn't wait for his answer, she gave him a hug and disappeared into the building.

"Yeah… there's something about her… but how the hell am I going to get her to listen to me when she won't even be in the same room?"


	18. Chapter 18

**Final Chapter... I had fun writing this ... hope you've enjoyed reading it**

* * *

EIGHTEEN

She hadn't thought anything of it at first, but walking up to House 51 was more difficult that she'd thought it would be. After all, her last memories had been just outside the door to the Equipment Floor.

But Stella Kidd wasn't a quitter.

Okay, so she kind of was.

But it was for a very good reason. Right?

So there she was pulling open the door and readying herself to see a few sort of familiar faces. Third shift was in the house and she knew enough of them that she wasn't anticipating a problem gaining entrance to the Chief's office.

And there wasn't any. A few of the guys looked up at her as she passed, but didn't say much. When she arrived outside of Boden's office she could see the Chief and Casey inside the office. A quick look at her watch said she was right on time.

Still, she knocked on the door and waited to hear the Chief's booming voice call out. "Come in."

With a determined smile she pushed the door open and saw both her Captain and her Chief stand up from their chairs. Blushing, she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. "Chief, Casey, thanks for meeting me at such an odd hour."

The Chief waved it off. "Think nothing of it, Stella. Have a seat."

She took the empty chair beside Casey and sat down with a wince. "I never thought I'd be doing this."

Casey smiled. "Leaving?"

She nodded and had to try two times before she could make her voice work. "Yeah. That." She lowered her gaze for a moment. "When I was assigned to 51 I had this feeling like I was home. And it's been that way for almost two years. I can't imagine what it will be like to work anywhere else."

The Chief spoke first. "You don't have to leave, Stella. Whatever it is that's bothering you-"

"It's not bothering me," she hedged.

"If you're having trouble coming here after the hostage situation," Casey looked at her, "we can certainly understand if being here is bringing up negative emotions."

"No," she shook her head decisively, "it's not that. I know that I'm a really outspoken person and I'm sure I've put my foot in it a bunch of times, but I love the 51 family… well, like my family. And I've come to realize that I might be causing problems for someone by being here. By getting in the middle of something. And the last thing I want to do it hurt them because I can't just leave well enough alone. So maybe, if things work out and you have a space open up down the line, maybe you'll have me back."

Casey sighed. "We'd rather you stay here and not leave us."

"Me too," Stella admitted. "I just don't see any other choice at the moment."

The Chief and Matt shared a look and Stella wondered what their decision would be.

Boden let out a long sigh as he picked up his pen. With a quick twist of his wrist he signed the paperwork and slid it across the desk to Casey, pen and all.

Casey shook his head and signed on his line.

Boden met her eyes. "I'm not going to send this in. We're signing it, but we're going to put it in your hands and ask you to give it until tomorrow. If you still feel like this is what you want to do, then mail it in."

She stood and the two mirrored her. "Thank you, Chief, but I know I've made the right decision."

Matt stepped closer and opened his arms for a hug. Blushing slightly, Stella wrapped her arms around him and hugged. The Chief was next before she moved to the door and was surprised to see him walking behind her.

Turning slightly over her shoulder she narrowed her eyes. "Are you two following me out? Is this like security kicking me out on my backside."

The Chief was the first one to answer. "We were only here to meet with you. I know I'm headed home." He looked at Matt.

"Oh, me too." He walked along beside Stella. "If you decide to move, I hope you'll come over for dinner with me and Dawson at our place before."

"Oh, yeah.. sure… thanks. That would be really nice."

They got to the common room and saw Brett and Dawn sitting on the couch, their heads bent over a magazine. "Hey, what are you two doing here?"

The two women looked up, shocked to see Stella. Gabby answered for them both. "I was waiting for Matt and Brett's waiting for Cruz and Otis."

"Wow," Stella looked at the four people standing around her, "funny to see four of you here on an off day."

Gabby pointed at the Equipment floor door. "I think Herrmann and Mouch are here with the Karaoke system."

"Here?" Now that hit Stella in an odd way. "Why?"

Gabby turned to Brett and Brett jumped in. "There was a birthday party from the community and they asked to use it."

"Oh?" Stella shrugged. "That was nice of Herrmann. I guess I'll stop by outside and say hi on my way home."

"And we'll go with you."

Stella wasn't sure exactly why they would do that, but she really needed to get home and start packing so she just kept walking until she saw Herrmann and Mouch by the door. They had the Karaoke Machine and were unwinding the electrical cord.

"Hey, Stella." Mouch walked over and gave her a big hug. "Good to see you."

She hugged him right back. "Good to see you too, Mouch. Herrmann. What are you doing, plugging this in?"

The two men looked at each other with a sudden shift of their eyes. Herrmann started talking first. "Testing the machine."

"Oh," she smiled, "after you let that party use it? That's a good idea, Herrmann. If it's broken you can contact the people who borrowed it."

She started to move away but Herrmann put his hand on her arm. "You're not going to stick around and test it out with us?"

Shaking her head, she folded the paper in her hands into a smaller square and tucked it in her pocket. "Naw, I really need to get going. I need to get some stuff done at my apartment."

Mouch looked disappointed. "I was going to ask Herrmann to sing some Sinatra."

"Sorry, guys. Really, I have to go."

"Okay." Herrmann almost sounded sad, but she had to go.

"I'll see you guys… later." She let her gaze move over the group with a melancholy smile. "You know, I cam here off-shift hoping to get this taken care of without seeing a lot of you folks. It's touch enough the way it is." The common room door opened and Otis came strolling through. "See," she laughed, "all we're missing is Rescue." She held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, I'm going now… good night."

"Night," the group almost sounded like a chorus, but she focused her gaze on the outside where night was quickly falling. Stella stepped out of the propped door and took a moment to gauge the cold.

Shivering a little she pulled up her coat collar and reached into her pocket for her gloves. It was just another reason to get back to her apartment. It was going to be a bitterly cold night in Chicago and she wanted to warm up.

She pulled the first glove on quickly, but the second was stuck. As she struggled with the glove she heard a noise from the roof.

A crease formed between her brows. 'Huh, it's a little too early for Santa on the roof.' Worried that someone was stuck up there she stepped out further from the building and saw that the ladder was liad out alongside the building not balanced up against the roof.

"Hey?" She called up to the roof. "is anyone up there?"

Another heavy thud on the roof and then she saw a shadow raise up from the roof ledge.

"Hey," she called out, her voice almost frantic. "You have to be careful! The ladder isn't up."

"Ladder?"

She heard the laughing tone coming down from the roof.

"I don't need a ladder."

And then she saw exactly what she was up against. Lowering himself down over the edge of the roof, his turnout gear reflecting the light from the street lamps across his name SEVERIDE.

"Oh my god…"

He set his feet against the building and as she watched she heard the soft sigh of the rope as it moved through the mechanism. Kelly had only gone a few feet before the she heard the speaker of the karaoke machine squawk from the Equipment floor.

The opening notes of a song filled the air around her and then she heard the lyrics and it cemented the crazy moment she was living in.

It was Frank Sinatra singing opening lyrics: 

_This love of mine goes on and on_ _  
Though life is empty since you have gone…_

 _You're always on my mind, though out of sight,_

 _It's lonesome through the day, but oh, the night…_

It took mere moments for Kelly to rappel down the side of the building and moments before his feet found solid ground again he turned and she saw the long-stemmed rose held between his lips.

"Oh my God, Kelly?"

He unhooked the carabiner from his harness and gave it a tug. "Take it up!'

Stella looked up at the roof and saw the smiling faces of Capp, Cruz, and Tony smiling down at her. Capp even gave her a wave before he stood up to hook himself into the rig.

Kelly walked right over to her, his customary swagger in his step. When he was almost toe to toe with her, he pulled the long-stemmed rose from his mouth and presented it to her with a wide laughing grin on his face. "A rose for you."

She shook her head. "No champagne?"

A loud 'Ahem' was heard from the door where Otis was holding a bucket against his hip with the tell-tale gold foil top of a champagne bottle poking out.

"I have more flowers in my car, Stella. I got the champagne, hell, I even got you Sinatra, 'cause you don't want to hear me sing."

"I wouldn't mind, Kelly." She looked into his eyes. "What's with the big gesture? Does this mean that you and… That you and-"

"I've been trying to tell you since you woke up at Med that Anna and I are over, Stella. We had something… at some point, but ever since she moved to Chicago things haven't been the same. And when you were hurt, when I held you in my arms and begged you to wake up, things started to clear up in my head.

"And it was Anna that forced me to put it into words. By the time you woke up, I was ready to tell you."

"But I wasn't ready to listen," she all but whispered to him. "I wanted to listen, Kelly, but I afraid to believe it. When I saw you in the locker room, when the hostage thing started, I knew I'd do anything to keep you safe, Kelly. And later when you jumped him and got him away, pulled his gun off of me so I wouldn't get hurt. I knew… I knew what I felt was real. If I hadn't knocked him out with his gun, I would have shot him, Kelly. I would have. Because if I can keep you from getting hurt, I'm going to."

"Stella-"

"No, Kelly. You need to know that it's not just you. That if you want me the way I want you, you should know-"

"You should know that I made a mistake the last time, Stella. I pushed you away. I pushed you away when all I wanted to do was hold on so tight and fix all of your problems. But you didn't need me to fix your problems with Grant, and all I did was push you. I'm sorry for all of that, Stella."

"Don't be sorry for caring about me. I just had to make the decision on my own."

He smiled at her, putting his hands on her shoulders and stepping closer to her. "And you did, Stella. You didn't need me to protect you."

"Just like you don't need me to protect you, Kelly." She leaned in closer and pressed a kiss along his jaw. "But I'm going to try to protect you when I can, every time."

"So this is a mutual thing between us?" He grinned at her and pressed a kiss to her temple. "We get to save each other?"

"I think it's a good plan. Should keep us busy for a while." She grinned and pressed a kiss to his chin, just under his lips. "When we're not doing other things."

She felt Kelly's breath, warm on her cheek.

"I like doing those other things too, Stella."

She laughed. "Glad to hear it, because I plan to keep you busy for awhile with-"

"Will you two just kiss and get it over with, we've all got other things to do after the Lieutenant gets his groove back. So what about it, Kidd? Gonna take the Lieutenant off the hook on this one?" Capp had a complete Cheshire grin from ear to ear.

Stella hung her head and laughed. Smiling when she felt Kelly's cheek against hers.

"What's the matter, Stella? Too much of an audience?"

"No," she whispered back before she looked up and met his eyes, "I don't mind if you don't."

He lifted his hands and cupped the sides of her face. "You know… I've been mooning over you since I met you, Stella Kidd."

Her eyes lit up with laughter. "Well, I like the way you moon over me, Kelly. I'm kind of hoping you'll do more of it tonight."

They were both shaking with laughter. "You can bet on it," and sealed that promise with a kiss as the final words of the song echoed around them.

 _I ask the sun and the moon_ _  
The stars that shine  
What's to become of it  
This love of mine  
This love of mine goes on and on_


End file.
